As many of my loyal readers (all 53 of you) know, I've spent much time on this blog considering, thinking, ruminating and trying to put into action some kindness, mostly as it turns out, in small ways. ways that are significant nevertheless. Trying to understand what kindness is, where real kindness comes from, the worth of the artiface of kindness and how do we judge these things. Is one more genuine than another? Does kindness need to come from the heart or spirit to be true kindness or is the gesture of kindness as good. Coming to a conclusion, still somewhat under debate, that a genuine kindness comes from somewhere within and spreads outward like a ripples in a pond.
    Kindness is a shifty thing I think. Hard to define, but you understand when you see it. Show me, don't tell me.
    In an odd and shaking turn of events, I have found myself on the opposite side, the receiver rather than the giver. After suffering what can best be described as a meltdown of the brain, that huge organ we use little of, I am the one looking for kindness, needing that hand doing what some hands are meant to do: reaching for mine, when my hand was limp and exhausted, frightened and hopeless. And I found those, or more truly, those hands found mine in a place I didn't expect to be. 
     Frankly, there is a difference between a kindness from the spirit and a kindness from a sense of duty or even the belief 'in doing the right thing.' While the former does lift my own spirit somewhere beyond the physical, I'm happy to accept both. Both are welcome, needed and appreciated but it is the more genuine, from within kindness, that benefits in an holistic way.
    If I didn't believe in magic in this world, in a kinship of humanity, I do now. And I believe, more strongly than I have, that it will be this sort of spirituality, that goes beyond any organizations or religions that will bring about the deep needed change that many are clamoring for. A spirituality that is personal yet universal, something you can't touch but in amazing, bewildering moments you feel its presence, simply know it's there.
     Perhaps, true insight into a question must come from looking at or experiencing from both sides, from the front and back. At least for now, this feels like I'm pulling on the right string, finding its strength and residing in that strength. 

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